


Heart and Stomach

by runawaynun



Category: The Expanse (TV)
Genre: 5 Things, F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-09
Updated: 2019-10-09
Packaged: 2020-11-29 05:27:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,273
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20957822
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/runawaynun/pseuds/runawaynun
Summary: Five foods Chrisjen Avasarala fed Bobbie Draper on Earth, and one Martian meal Avasarala tolerated.





	Heart and Stomach

**1\. Ice cream**

Bobbie made her way to the kitchen, with Chrisjen's youngest granddaughter hanging on to her leg. "No, Bobbie, stay out here and play!"

"I have to help your _amma_ with the food." Bobbie shot Chrisjen a look of desperation as she shook her leg, trying to dislodge the child.

Chrisjen smirked, but took pity on her. "Kiki, go play with the other children. Bobbie has to help me with the ice cream."

Bobbie's eyes lit up. Kiki, on the other hand, pouted. ”It's Suri's birthday and they're all her friends and they're all mean!"

Chrisjen leaned down and caressed her granddaughter's hair. "Well, in that case, I think _naana_ may have fallen asleep in the living room. Go wake him up."

Kiki ran giggling down the hallway. "Thank you," Bobbie said gratefully.

Chrisjen handed her an ice cream scoop. "I would have thought your vaunted Martian marine training would be no match for my granddaughter."

Bobbie paused her scooping. "If I'm ever reinstated, I'll have to suggest training in 1 G while running after a small child."

Chrisjen laughed. "I'm picturing Martian marines in their armor chasing after a preschool class."

"After today, I'm giving the kids the advantage."

"You've never had this, have you?" Chrisjen asked as Bobbie scooped ice cream into bowls.

"We have ice cream on Mars."

Chrisjen rolled her eyes. "Not whatever shit you have on Mars. But real ice cream, with actual cream and milk."

"Is there a difference?"

"Is there a difference," Chrisjen scoffed as she scooped up a spoonful of vanilla ice cream. "Here." She shoved the spoon into Bobbie's mouth.

Chrisjen looked smug as Bobbie let out a moan. "That's so good. It's so . . so . . . smooth and rich and creamy."

"Now try it with fresh strawberries." Chrisjen said, giving Bobbie another spoon with ice cream and a piece of strawberry.

Bobbie closed her eyes in pleasure as she ate. Chrisjen smiled at her enjoyment.

"Chrisjen!" Arjun called as he entered the kitchen, carrying Kiki. "I'm disappointed in you." He wrapped his free arm around Chrisjen's waist and kissed the top of her head. "This woman saved your life -

"I was just doing my job, sir." Bobbie interjected.

Arjun ignored her. "And you give her vanilla?"

Chrisjen looked up at him. "What would you suggest?"

"Chocolate!" Kiki yelled.

"With," Arjun considered, "raspberries, I think."

"Good choice, you two." Chrisjen nodded.

"I'll help!" Kiki exclaimed, squirming away from Arjun. Chrisjen scooped chocolate ice cream into a bowl, while Kiki added raspberries and brought it to Bobbie.

Bobbie tried a spoonful. "How is this even better?" she exclaimed.

Arjun laughed. "It's good to see you enjoy what we take for granted."

Bobbie smiled. "Thanks."

"Oh, for him you say 'thanks.' For me, you make a pointed comment about we take everything for granted on Earth."

Before Bobbie could retort, Suri dashed into the kitchen. "_Amma_, we need ice cream, now!" She paused. "Please!"

"We'll be right out, sweetie." Arjun said. He and Kiki followed Suri, carrying various toppings.

"It's strange, seeing you be a grandmother," Bobbie said.

"Oh?"

"For one thing, you haven't said fuck since I entered the room."

"My daughter frowns on me expanding their vocabulary."

Bobbie smiled. "I like this side of you."

"Don't get used to it. It's only for my grandchildren. Help me get this out to the party."

"Yes, ma'am." Bobbie gave her a salute.

"Smartass."

**2\. Steak**

Bobbie smoothed the jacket of her black suit. She was waiting for Chrisjen in a restaurant in Buenos Aires, in a section UN security had cleared. Buenos Aires was the closest UN governmental center that was unaffected by the Martian missile. It was Chrisjen's first trip to Amazonia since she became Secretary General. Bobbie had watched the coverage of Chrisjen touring the refugee camps from the UN compound. Martians weren't trusted or liked in this sector of Earth after their missile had killed millions in retaliation for Earth's attack on its first strike platforms.

Bobbie watched Chrisjen tour makeshift tent schools and hospitals and housing. She had met with UN officials in charge of rebuilding, she held the hands of those hurt in the attack, sang songs with school children, and fielded the questions and frustrations of residents who had lost everything.

She turned when she heard Chrisjen enter, talking on her handheld. " - tell that fucker we need to get water here at least twice as often as we have been. Tell anyone looking to make a profit off this that I will personally make them eat their balls after I tear them off and that's just a start. And I want the Undersecretary of Amazonia to report to me at least three times a week." She sighed. "Then go home, Fatima, it's late and nothing else should come up tonight."

"Long day?" Bobbie asked and winced. What a stupidly obvious question.

"Yes," Chrisjen replied, absently rubbing the back of her neck.

"We don't have to have dinner here. We can go back and you can get some sleep."

"Stop implying I'm old." She paused and looked Bobbie over. "You look lovely."

"Thank you, ma'am," Bobbie smiled.

“It’s been too shitty of a day for you to ma’am me."

Before Bobbie could reply, a waiter came and ushered the two of them to their table in a secluded area. It was strange to be alone and yet hear the hum of the crowd in the other sections of the restaurant. Chrisjen placed their order in Spanish. The waiter poured each of them a glass of red wine.

"How are you doing?" Bobbie asked. "Today couldn't have been easy."

Chrisjen took a drink. "I don't think I'll ever be able to forget the smell. Over two million dead in such a short time - you can't bury those bodies, not before the decay and disease are overwhelming. They're still finding bodies. And at the camps for the displaced electricity and water are intermittent, which is a nice way to say almost non-existent, because Sorento-Gillis, Errinwright and I were all fucking playing war and not worrying about its victims." She laughed bitterly. "I can almost hear Admiral Souther. 'It's difficult when you actually have to meet those affected by your decisions, Madam Secretary.'"

"It wasn't your decision. You weren't even on Earth."

"No, I wasn't." She shook her head. "I was so certain I could bring in Mao. I could have stayed here. Made sure Errinwright didn't get his war."

Bobbie reached out and grasped Chrisjen's wrist. ”Do you really think Errinwright wouldn't have killed you here on Earth? You stopped a war. You saved lives."

"Not two million, though."

"More. How many would have died if those hybrids had gotten to Mars?"

"It all still happened under my nose."

"I'm going to tell you something you told me. Don't be stupid, Chrisjen, this won't bring back those two million people. You'll learn and you'll do what you can for the survivors." 

Chrisjen put her hand over Bobbie's hand and gave her a pained smile. "Thank you." 

They were interrupted by the waiter with their food. "I hope you enjoy your first steak on Earth, Bobbie," Chrisjen said her smile growing wide.

Bobbie's eyes widened. "From a cow?"

"Yes, a proper steak. None of that fucking vat-grown shit. _Bife de chorizo_. Enjoy."

Bobbie's mouth watered. She had watched so many Earth shows that extolled steak as the finest of Earth foods. Her family had never had the money to have one of the few Mars would import from Earth. Travis had told her the story of how his family had indulged the night before they departed for Mars and how no Martian steak could ever compare to that last one in Texas.

Bobbie eagerly cut off a piece. It was juicy and almost everything she dreamed of. Almost. She wrinkled her nose.

"Is something wrong?" Chrisjen asked.

"It tastes, well, not bad, but different."

Chrisjen laughed. "That's because it came from a cow that ate grass in the Pampas, not whatever vat-grown meat comes from. If you don't like it I'm sure you could give it - "

"No!" Bobbie exclaimed. "No, I'll get used to it."

"Good," Chrisjen replied, cocking her head. "I'd hate to disappoint you."

**3\. Cannoli**

"I know how to bullshit a news anchor. I can make people think that I am an instant away from having them disemboweled. I can give a speech and have it inspire people. But this one will have to be different. This one will have to convince all the people of Earth to stop shitting their pants in fear and that we must all work together -- Earth, Mars and the Belt -- to deal with the unknown. That's why I need your help, Doctor Volovodov. I know you have a way with words."

"I'm very flattered, Madam Secretary, but I'd really like to go home to my wife and daughter. It's been a very exhausting few weeks."

"I understand that. But if you want your daughter to inherit a universe worth living in, I'm going to need your help with this speech."

The two women were interrupted by shouting from the next room. "I don't have the fucking physical copy because I left everything in my quarters at the Embassy when I had to claim political asylum since Mars was killing its own fucking soldiers!"

It sounded like Bobbie's attempt to repatriate to Mars had hit some red tape. Chrisjen reached out and placed her hand on Volovodov's forearm. "Don't make your decision right now. Your flight for St. Petersburg leaves tomorrow, so think it over tonight. Talk to your wife. Let me know what you decide."

"Yes, thank you." Anna made her escape from the office. 

Chrisjen made her way to the next room, where Bobbie was still arguing with a member of the Martian Immigration Service at the Martian Embassy over the video link. "Look, the Marines should still have all the paper work from my time of service. I don't know why - "

Chrisjen placed her hand on Bobbie's shoulder and leaned in until the immigration agent could see her face. "You know who I am, yes?"

The agent's jaw dropped. "Yes, Madam Secretary."

"Good. Now you tell the Martian military and your bosses at the embassy to quit fucking around with Sargent Draper's paperwork, or I will take this up with your Prime Minister."

"Yes, ma’am." Chrisjen terminated the link.

Bobbie let out an irritated huff as she pulled her hair out of its bun and roughly ran her fingers through it. "I don't know whether to thank you for your help or be pissed off that this makes me look even more like an Earther's pet."

"My pets are much better behaved."

Bobbie folded her arms across her chest and glared at Chrisjen. She knew that Bobbie's annoyance was born out of fear of the unknown future. Clearly, she needed to use a new tactic. "Look, we both need a break. Rehema brought cannoli from the bakery near here that I was supposed to share with the Italian assembly member, but his head was too far up his own ass for pastry. We'll take them up to the conservatory."

Bobbie nodded.

Things were still not right when the two women reached the conservatory. Bobbie absently ate the dessert and looked out the windows. Normally, her curiosity would fill her with wonder and questions about the plants and the city outside. Contrary to many people's belief, Chrisjen knew when silence worked, so she sat on a bench and waited for Bobbie to tell her what was making her so agitated.

Bobbie abruptly turned away from the window. "That green in the center of the city, that used to be open to anyone, right?"

Chrisjen nodded. "I'm trying to convince the mayor to at least open what Mao owned to the public but it's hard for her to justify the revenue she'd lose to not sell it to someone else."

Bobbie's face became more stony. "When I escaped from the embassy, I met people with no shelter, no clean water, no medicines. If Earth is so rich, why are people living like that?"

Chrisjen was surprised at the topic Bobbie chose, but supposed the sense of justice that had caused her to defect from Mars would not abide Earth's inequalities. "It's true that Basic hasn't kept up with the cost of living."

"You're in charge now. Can't you do something about it?"

Chrisjen rubbed at her temple. "I can't unilaterally raise the amount Basic pays out. The General Assembly has to pass a law."

"But you could convince them."

"That's unlikely. The Assembly hasn't raised it since I was at university."

"What could be more important than the welfare of your people?"

"Building and maintaining a navy. There are many people in the Assembly who fear Mars more than their own constituents. And now we have to rebuild our fleet after that fucking unnecessary war."

"You're a rich planet! Why can't you do both?"

"Our population is so much larger than Mars, Bobbie. Our tax base is minuscule. We don't tax the people on Basic, which is the majority, and there are so many loopholes in our tax code that a fucking massive amount of corporate money is shielded from taxes."

"Can't you change that?"

"I can try. But the Assembly is going to want to put that money into the military, especially with whatever that fucking thing by Uranus is."

Bobbie sat down next to her. "That's bullshit, Chrisjen. Those are bullshit reasons not to care for people."

Although Chrisjen had lost her idealism decades ago, she silently agreed. She reached over and grasped Bobbie's hand. "It's difficult when things you thought were certain and unshakable turn out to be malleable. That's what you're upset about now, right? Not my inability to instantly erase centuries of Earth's economic inequality?"

"I'm mad at your unwillingness to even try." Bobbie let out a long breath. "I'm mad that Earth isn't what I was told it was. It's so much better and so much worse. I'm fucking furious that Mars killed my friends and tried to kill me." She turned towards Chrisjen, pain evident in her eyes. "And I miss it so much. Even as it's jerking me around to regain my citizenship. It's my home."

"I understand." Bobbie started to object. "I have lost my father, my son and almost my life for Earth. It's a messy planet, full of squabbling people. But it's my fucking home."

"I want to go home. I want to be a Marine. I know that. But I don't know who to trust." Bobbie squeezed Chrisjen's hand. "You're one person I know who I can trust. Maybe the only one."

"And you're one of the very few I can trust. A friend of mine would find this amusing. I once told him that he loved Martians too much." Chrisjen made an amused noise. "I'll do what I can to get you home. And I will always help you in any way I can. You just have to ask."

"Thank you."

Chrisjen stood and stretched her arms over her head. "I'm sure I'm now late for five different meetings. You stay here. Eat the rest of the cannoli."

As Chrisjen made her way out of the conservatory, Bobbie called after her. "It's still bullshit, Chrisjen."

"I know. Eat your fucking pastry."

**4\. Bhel puri**

Bobbie almost didn't recognize Chrisjen when she opened the door to her room in the Secretary General's residence. She wasn't wearing her normal sari, dripping with jewels. She was wearing gray pants and a dark blue sweater, her hair pulled back into a simple ponytail. "What?" she asked dumbly.

Chrisjen frowned. "Security said that if I wanted to go out into the city, I had to blend in." She pulled at her sweater in discomfort. "I fucking hate being Secretary General."

"I'm sure you hate having everybody do what you want them to do."

"They did that before. Put on your shoes. The Assembly member from the Maharashtra-Karnataka-Goa Communal Interest Zone told me about a food cart he swears is as good as back home."

Bobbie pulled on her shoes and zipped up a jacket that she would need against the recent cold. "It seems strange to ask after everything we've been through, but where is your home?" she asked.

"That is a complicated question. When my father was planetside and it was safe enough to join him, home was Mumbai. If you think New York is crowded, Mumbai is even more so. I adored it. I'd sneak out and explore the city on my own. Although, I suspect my father's security detail made sure I wasn't actually alone."

"And when your father wasn't on Earth?"

"I lived with my mother and her family in Tehran. It's much harder to slip out when you had numerous aunts watching you like a hawk."

Bobbie laughed. "You should try having older brothers. They constantly ditched me when I wanted to hang out with them, but the minute I tried to do something by myself, there they were."

"Where's home for you?"

"Complicated question for me, too. Dad was career military, until he was hurt in a skirmish out in the Belt, so we moved around to several bases. They've all settled in Londres Nova while I was in the Marines." She shook her head. "Still am in the Marines. Thank you for that."

"I had nothing to do with that. I just reminded Mars of your exceptional service."

"It's amazing how after you did that, I was repatriated and reinstated within two days."

Chrisjen shrugged.

"I'm assigned to the Ring, you know."

Chrisjen's steps faltered. "Really?"

Bobbie nodded.

"When do you leave?"

"A week."

Chrisjen smiled. "Good."

"What?"

"I'll have a surprise for you." Bobbie raised her eyebrows. Chrisjen ignored her and looked at the food cart's offerings. She grabbed Bobbie's arm. "They do have bhel puri! I haven't had any decent version of it on this miserable continent. Do you have it on Mars?"

Bobbie shook her head. "At least no place I've been."

"Good. I get to introduce it to you." Bobbie enjoyed how Chrisjen's face lost the worry and stress that her job gave her. She was smiling a rare smile with no artifice. "Let's hope Suketu was telling the fucking truth."

Chrisjen went and ordered, conducting a lively conversation with the cashier in a language Bobbie didn't understand. The two of them laughed as the worker handed Chrisjen two paper cones.

"Here you go," Chrisjen said, handing Bobbie a cone holding puffed rice, what looked like small, uncooked noodles, a chutney she didn't recognize and pieces of tomatoes and onions. "Bhel puri should be eaten by the ocean. The city has put a walking path on the sea wall near here."

As they made their way up the seawall, Bobbie was struck once again the vastness of the water that stretched out toward the horizon with no end in sight. She watched the waves crash into the wall and found herself comforted by their sound and rhythm. She wished that there was some magic way to speed up the terraforming process, so she could see these waves on Mars during her lifetime.

Chrisjen interrupted her reverie. "My father use to buy bhel puri and we would walk along Mumbai's sea walls. They were a complete engineering marvel to save Mumbai from the rising ocean. Of course, there was still massive flooding during the years the monsoons came. But on days like today, days that were clear and you felt like you could see forever, where the sun reflected off the water, and my father would take me for a walk, those are some of my favorite days.

"He'd tell me that the oceans were just one thing that made Earth so important to protect. And that some day I would work with him to protect Earth from anyone who wanted to hurt it. He told me that I would be good at it, even better than him." Her voice caught. "He said that I would have to continue to protect the Earth even after he was dead."

Bobbie put her hand on Chrisjen's shoulder. "My father did something similar when I was growing up. He and I would like to go free climbing in the Mariner Valley and when we'd get to the top, he'd talk about what Mars would look like when the terraforming was done and how when I joined the military, I'd be protecting Mars, just like him."

Chrisjen turned and looked at her, with an expression Bobbie couldn't read. She then turned her attention back to her food and picked up a cracker-like thing in the cone. "You use the papdi to eat it."

Bobbie picked hers up and scooped up some of the mixture. It was a wide variety of flavors -- sweet and salty and tart with some spice -- and yet it worked together.

"Not bad for North America," Chrisjen murmured.

"Did your father teach you how to curse to upset people's expectations?"

"No, he actually frowned on my 'more colorful language.'"

"What, did you pick it up at school?"

"No, his mother taught me, much to his dismay. Which is why my daughter is so adamant that I don't teach the grandchildren."

The wind changed direction and Bobbie wrinkled her nose. "Is the ocean supposed to smell like a recycler?"

"No. The former United States did fucking awful things to the oceans that surrounded it. We're still working on trying to clean it."

"It's still beautiful, though."

"Yes, it is."

**5\. Fish**

Christen watched as Bobbie stepped out of the restaurant and closed her eyes, her hair whipped by the wind coming off of the ocean. "Did you enjoy your surprise?" she asked.

Bobbie slowly opened her eyes and smiled. "For the trip to Wellington or for the fish supper?"

Chrisjen couldn't stop her grin. "Both."

"This is one of the most beautiful places I've ever seen," Bobbie said. "And I'm glad that fish is not as slimy as I thought it'd be."

"Good. It's low tide now. Would you like to walk on the beach beyond the sea wall?"

"Yes." 

The two were silent as they made their way to the ocean. Bobbie broke the silence as they neared the gates of the seawall. "The smell of decay isn't as strong as in New York. Is this more like how an ocean should smell?"

"Yes. This ocean is still damaged, though. It didn't go through the absolute punishment that the ocean around New York did in the late 21st century. It's been somewhat able to recover."

Bobbie stopped in her tracks as soon as she saw the ocean. "It's so much more blue. There's so many different colors of blue." She laughed. "It's so light. It's so - " she struggled for words as she sat down in the sand. "Beautiful."

Chrisjen sat down next to her. "You deserved to see an ocean beside the dingy Atlantic outside of New York."

"My grandmother would tell me about the ocean. She lived near it as a child before her family left for Mars. The New Zealand government decided where she lived wasn't worth the effort and money needed to repair the sea wall and the whole town started to flood. When they heard that the UN needed more colonists for Mars, her family volunteered, aunts and uncles and cousins, all of them.

"And I would ask her if she was scared to leave home and go to Mars.

"She would say, 'Bobbie, our people traveled the ocean without engines, without computers. We made homes on islands most other people thought where uninhabitable. How is that any different from space and Mars?' And now I understand just a little bit better what she meant. I'm glad that you've allowed me to make this some of my last memories of Earth."

Chrisjen's head jerked up. "Last?"

"You know I ship out tomorrow."

"No, no, I know that," Chrisjen waved that away and turned to look at Bobbie, worry in her eyes. "Bobbie, do you still have your death wish?"

"Death wish?" 

"Chasing after that protomolecule hybrid on Io was a death wish. You felt guilty for your fire squad's death and your survival, so you chased almost certain death. How do I know that's not what you're going to do in that fucking Ring?"

"You're right. I did have a death wish, not that I recognized it at the time. But killing that thing helped. That VA therapist you dragged me to helped. These weeks with you helped."

Chrisjen's eyes softened. "I'm glad I've been helpful." She leaned in and placed a kiss on the side of Bobbie's mouth.

Bobbie froze and Chrisjen watched the emotions cross her face: surprise, relief and finally want. Bobbie placed her hand behind Chrisjen's head and pulled her into a bruising kiss. After her initial surprise wore off, she kissed Bobbie back, mouth opening. Suddenly, Bobbie pulled back. "Wait."

"Shh," Chrisjen trailed her fingers across Bobbie's jaw and lips. 

"But you're - "

Chrisjen shook her head. "Don't worry. Arjun knows. He knew before I even understood it myself. He gives us his blessing."

Bobbie remained still for a few moments until she pulled Chrisjen back to her. Chrisjen kissed her, fiercely, urgently, knowing that once she left for the Ring, there was no guarantee that she would return.

Bobbie broke the kiss. "Wait. One last thing." She grinned. "I want to go into the ocean."

Chrisjen kissed her below her eye. "Okay."

Bobbie scrambled up, pulling off her shoes and ran to the water. Chrisjen made her way at a more leisurely pace, watching as Bobbie laughed and splashed in the water. "C'mon!"

Chrisjen toed off her shoes and pulled up the hem of her sari. "It's been too long since I've done this."

A troubled look came across Bobbie's face. "I almost feel like I should apologize to it."

"Why the fuck should you?"

"Because we took the fish we ate from it."

Chrisjen laughed, stood on her tiptoes and gave Bobbie a small kiss. "The ocean's better but it's still a bit too acidic to form an ecosystem to support fish. We had aquaculture fish."

"You gave me vat fish?"

"Uh huh. What are you going to do?”

Bobbie picked her up, carried Chrisjen to where the water met her thighs and unceremoniously dropped her into the ocean.

Chrisjen stood up and rung water out of her hair. "You are a fucking dead woman, Draper."

Bobbie ran away, laughing.

**6\. Lasagna**

After their escape from the Ring, Chrisjen invited the Rocinante to the Bush Naval Yard. Bobbie saw that Holden and the others were inclined not to accept, except for the fact that Chrisjen promised that the UN would pick up the cost of repairs and resupply it as much as Earth could resupply a Martian gunship.

Which is why they were all in the cargo bay waiting for the UN Secretary General. When she entered, all silk and jewels and swagger, Bobbie felt a deep sense of relief. Once again, her own future was a complete mystery, but seeing Chrisjen was like finding a new container of oxygen when your other one was running low. She didn't know what was going to happen, but she could now trust that she'd survive.

"I've brought some gifts for you. Doctor Volovodov, I have some guests that are very eager to see you." A small girl exited from the UN transport and ran as fast as she could towards where Anna crouched down, holding her arms out. "Mama!" she cried out as Anna caught the child and hugged her to her chest.

"Nami!" 

"Don't cry. Mom is here, too."

"I see that," Anna said as she picked up her daughter. "Nami, I've missed you. I've missed both of you so much."

Nono embraced Anna and kissed the side of her head. "It's so good to see you. We were so worried."

"I have so much to tell you! If you'd excuse us, Madam Secretary?" Chrisjen nodded.

"For you, Holden, I have the following video message." She handed a handheld over. 

Holden pressed play and the image of the Martian Prime Minister came on the screen. "Mr. Holden and the crew of the Rocinante. I've spoken with the Defense Ministry, and we've come to the conclusion that your possession of the former MCRN ship Tachi is a legitimate salvage."

Alex let out a whoop and slapped Amos on the back. "Oh, girl, it's official! You're ours!"

Chrisjen looked at Holden, puzzled. "He talks to the ship," he explained.

"Oh. The MCRN will be sending the paperwork and supplies the UNN cannot equip the Rocinante with." She smiled and held out her hand. "Congratulations, Captain Holden."

Holden shook her hand. "Thank you, Madam Secretary."

Alex hugged each of the other members of the crew and continued to shout endearments at the ship. Naomi laughed and slung her arm around Holden's waist. Even Amos was smiling.

"If you could, I'd like to speak to Sargent Draper privately?" Chrisjen asked.

"Of course, we'll get out of your hair," Holden replied.

As the group made their way out of the cargo bay, Amos called back. "Hey, good job, Chrissie!"

"Fuck you, Burton! Never call me that again!" 

And then Bobbie was alone with Chrisjen and could feel the certainty she had felt before ebb away. Until Chrisjen closed the distance and threw her arms around her. "I was so fucking worried."

Bobbie wrapped her arms around the other woman and pulled her closer. "I'm still here." 

Chrisjen pulled away. "You were shot!"

Bobbie cradled Chrisjen's face her hands. "And I'm fine now." Bobbie could no longer resist. She kissed her, short, gentle kisses that grew to be longer and more passionate.

"Hey, Bobbie, Alex's made - " Naomi stopped short. "Oh, excuse me."

Bobbie watched in disbelief as Chrisjen turned towards Naomi, completely unruffled. She felt embarrassed to be caught and she wasn't governing any major planetary powers. "Yes, Ms. Nagata?"

Naomi cleared her throat. "Alex's made some of his lasagna and was wondering if you'd like to join us for a meal, Madam Secretary."

"Of course."

The three followed the sound of laughter and conversation to the mess. The Volovodov family and the rest of the crew were there and it was going to be tight, but it felt to Bobbie like the joy in the room made it expand.

"As I was explaining to Anna, Nono, and Miss Nami, this is my Mama Kemal's famous lasagna. The cheese and wheat and tomatoes aren't real, but the love that goes into it is."

"No cheese or wheat or tomatoes? Why the f - " Chrisjen caught herself at Anna's throat clearing. "Why on Earth would anyone want to eat this?"

"No one on Earth," Bobbie said as she passed the pan to Chrisjen sitting next to her. "But this is some good Martian home cooking."

"If you say so."

"Just try it."

Chrisjen cut off a piece and slowly chewed it. "What do you think?" Alex asked.

"It's . . . edible."

Alex's face fell.

"Aw, don't feel bad, Alex," Bobbie said, giving him a playful shove. "It's the highest compliment she gives for non-Earth food."

Chrisjen smiled diplomatically.

As conversation and laughter surrounded Bobbie and warm food filled her stomach, the dread that she felt since entering the Ring drained away. And as Chrisjen's hand found her thigh, Bobbie found herself looking forward to at least the near-term future.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you to surena_13 to looking this over and offering suggestions. All geographic vagueness is my fault.


End file.
